Episode 11 – Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) with Joe Preti

Same Make. Same Model. New Mission.

We’re back! In Week Two of Terminator Month, we kidnap Joe Preti of the View from the Gutters podcast, and force him to help us break into Cyberdyne Systems headquarters. Our mission this time, to dive into the biggest Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster of all time: Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

A decade later, another more advanced Terminator has arrived from the future to kill a now-ten year-old John Connor. But like before, it didn’t come alone. The human resistance has reprogrammed an older model, identical to the one that failed to kill his mother in 1984. Its new mission: to protect young John at all costs.

Episode 10 – The Terminator (1984) with Matt Goodman

That Terminator is out there! It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever, until you are dead!

Welcome to Terminator Month, where every week we explore the franchise that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a household name. In Week One, we learn to assemble pipe bombs in a seedy motel with screenwriter Matt Goodman, as we look at the movie that started it all: 1984’s The Terminator.

In the year 2029, the post-nuclear war against the machines has finally been won by a small human resistance. But the machines have one last gambit. They’ve sent the perfect mechanized killing machine back to the year 1984, to kill a young waitress named Sarah Connor before she can give birth to the leader of the human resistance. The final battle for humanity will not be fought in the future, but in modern day Los Angeles.

Episode 9 – Escape Plan (2013) with Todd Maxfield-Matsumoto

Breaking out is an inside job.

After nearly forty years of waiting, it’s finally happened. It’s time to inject ourselves with tracking devices and ready our homemade sextants.  This month, we sit down with our good friend Todd Maxfield-Matsumoto to dive into the long-awaited team-up movie between Arnold Schwarzenegger and his longtime cinematic rival, Sylvester Stallone: Escape Plan.

Ray Breslin is a security expert who breaks out of maximum security prisons for a living. His skills are put to the test when he’s hired to escape from the ultimate black site detention center for the worst criminals on Earth, and staffed a corrupt warden and his violent costumed guards. But Breslin isn’t alone. His escape is aided a fellow inmate, played by our favorite Austrian badass, who thinks that teaming up with Breslin may be his ticket to freedom.

Episode 8 – End of Days (1999) with Kit Laika

When the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison.

Stock up on holy water and grow out your sadness beards, because this month we’re joining Kit Laika to dissect Arnold’s turn-of-the-millennium supernatural thriller, End of Days.

Alcoholic and suicidal, ex-cop Jericho Cane is a broken man. But he’s the only thing standing between a young woman chosen to mother the Antichrist, and the forces of Hell themselves. And little does the Devil know that he’s fucking choirboy compared to Cane. A choirboy!

Episode 7 – Conan the Barbarian (1982) with Greg Hatcher

“Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.”

Crom, we have never prayed to you before. We have no tongue for it. Podcasts please you, Crom…so grant us one request: grant us a discussion with Greg Hatcher of the Atomic Junk Shop blog! Together we will travel back to an age undreamed of, and discuss the bloody fantasy epic that put Arnold Schwarzenegger on the map: 1982’s Conan the Barbarian!

An adaptation of the classic Robert E. Howard pulp hero, Conan of Cimmeria is a warrior, a thief and a slayer of men. After the slaughter of his parents and tribe by a doomsday snake cult, Conan is enslaved and made into a gladiator. Thus begins his quest for bloody vengeance with sword, and axe and his own bare hands.

Episode 6 – Batman & Robin (1997) with Joe Preti

Batman_&_Robin_Poster

“Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it is the chilling sound of your doom!”

We slide in our sculpted rubber bat-suits with Joe Preti of the View from the Gutters comic book podcast to sink our teeth into Arnold Schwarzenegger’s infamous comic book movie, Batman & Robin!

Gotham City’s be-nippled champions, Batman and Robin, take some time off from bickering with each other to battle a deadly duo of supervillains. In one corner, Poison Ivy, a hammy ecoterrorist with fatal kisses. And in the other corner, Mr. Freeze, a giant blue Austrian armed with a freeze ray and an even deadlier collection of ice puns.

Episode 5 – The Last Stand (2013) with Sean Duncan

“Not in his town. Not on his watch.”

We’re back, folks. And so is our favorite Austrian ass-kicker. We join our young friend Sean Duncan to dig into Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first starring role in ten years, 2013’s The Last Stand.

Sheriff Ray Owens has left the life of a big city cop to retire as a small border town’s chief lawman. But when an escaped cartel super-criminal in a Corvette and his gang of mercs make a run for the Mexican border through his town, Owens, his inexperienced deputies and a local gun nut are the only thing standing in their way.

Episode 4 – Predator (1987) with Jeremy Whitman

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“Nothing like it has ever been on Earth before. It came from another planet for the thrill of the hunt. It picked the wrong man.”

It’s time to return to the decade of Reagan with Jeremy Whitman of the Rated80s podcast, and look at one of Arnold’s most iconic action films, 1987’s Predator.

When an elite team of commandos embark on a rescue mission in the South American jungle, they find themselves the prey of an extraterrestrial big game hunter. One by one, they’re slaughtered until only one man remains.

And he’s not about to become the monster’s latest trophy.

Episode 3 – Hercules in New York (1969) with Sam Mulvey

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“It’s tremendous! It’s stupendous!! It’s FUN!!!”*

We’re back with a dive into a mythic time — in more ways than one — with Ask an Atheist‘s Sam Mulvey to test our endurance against the herculean labor of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first starring role, in 1969’s Hercules in New York!

Bored of his idyllic life on Mount Olympus, Greek demigod Hercules provokes his father Zeus into sending him to modern day Earth. There, he beats up longshoremen and bullies college athletes. He eventually becomes a successful professional wrestler, and battles both the machinations of the gods and gangsters alike.

*none of these statements are true

Episode 2 – Kindergarten Cop (1990) with Rebecca Friedman

Kindergarten Cop

“Go ahead, you tell him you didn’t do your homework.”

In our second podcast, Mike and Casey are joined actual, real life teacher Rebecca Friedman for a very educational episode that highlights one of Schwarzenegger’s most successful comedies: 1990’s Kindergarten Cop!

Detective John Kimble is the meanest cop around. He really likes pushing people through glass coffee tables and blasting their couches with shotguns. So when Kimble needs to catch a vicious drug lord, he’s forced to go undercover. As a substitute kindergarten teacher.

He does know he’s not allowed to kill people, right?