The most powerful legend of all is back in a new adventure.
Know, o listener, that we return to an age undreamed of, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under our sandalled feet with returning guest and musician, Sean Duncan, to talk about the much-maligned epic fantasy sequel, Conan the Destroyer.
Conan of Cimmeria, now living as a vagabond thief, is hired by the Queen Tamaris to escort her niece, Princess Jehnna, on a secret mission to obtain a magical jewel. Unbeknownst to Conan, the Queen has also tasked the princess’ bodyguard with killing Conan once the mission is complete, and plans to sacrifice her niece to awaken an slumbering elder god.
Moscow’s toughest detective. Chicago’s craziest cop. There’s only one thing worse than making them mad. Making them partners.
It’s time to feed our parakeet and reacquaint ourselves with Miranda laws — even if the Soviet method is more economical — because it’s time to go back to the decade where Schwarzenegger reigned supreme: the 1980s. We’re joined by our friend Patrick Johnson to dive into a Cold War buddy cop action/comedy: Red Heat.
Soviet supercop Ivan Danko lands in Chicago to extradite Viktor “Rosta” Rostavili, the Russian drug lord who killed his partner. But after a bloody escape, Danko must join forces with Detective Art Ridzik, a crude and reckless American cop, to bring down Viktor and avenge both of their partners.
We close out Terminator Month with Week Four, where we jump into our homemade time displacement machine with Sam Mulvey ofAsk an Atheist to break our brains trying to sort out the continuity of the sequel…prequel…soft reboot(?) that recreates the franchise for a new generation: Terminator: Genisys.
When John Connor sends soldier Kyle Reese back to 1984 Los Angeles to protect his mother and safeguard the future, Reese finds himself in a different 1984 with a different Sarah Connor. The war across time between humans and machines has fractured the timeline. Now the only thing standing between the human race and utter destruction are Kyle, Sarah and an older, obsolete T-800 Terminator acting as their protector. Bring plenty of aspirin and a flow chart.
In Week Three of Terminator Month, we arrive in the post-James Cameron era of the franchise to rob a veterinary clinic and destroy downtown Los Angeles with Dave Brouillette of the Hands Free Football podcast. Our mission, to dig into the long-anticipated sequel that returned Arnold Schwarzenegger to the series that made him a star: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.
Now in his twenties, John Connor is living off the grid. Moving from town to town; job to job, running from his destiny as the would-be savior of the human race. And just when he thinks the future is safe, two more Terminators arrive from the future; one a killer and the other a protector. But this time, maybe nothing can stop worldwide nuclear doom.
We’re back! In Week Two of Terminator Month, we kidnap Joe Preti of the View from the Gutters podcast, and force him to help us break into Cyberdyne Systems headquarters. Our mission this time, to dive into the biggest Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster of all time: Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
A decade later, another more advanced Terminator has arrived from the future to kill a now-ten year-old John Connor. But like before, it didn’t come alone. The human resistance has reprogrammed an older model, identical to the one that failed to kill his mother in 1984. Its new mission: to protect young John at all costs.
That Terminator is out there! It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever, until you are dead!
Welcome to Terminator Month, where every week we explore the franchise that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a household name. In Week One, we learn to assemble pipe bombs in a seedy motel with screenwriter Matt Goodman, as we look at the movie that started it all: 1984’s The Terminator.
In the year 2029, the post-nuclear war against the machines has finally been won by a small human resistance. But the machines have one last gambit. They’ve sent the perfect mechanized killing machine back to the year 1984, to kill a young waitress named Sarah Connor before she can give birth to the leader of the human resistance. The final battle for humanity will not be fought in the future, but in modern day Los Angeles.
After nearly forty years of waiting, it’s finally happened. It’s time to inject ourselves with tracking devices and ready our homemade sextants. This month, we sit down with our good friend Todd Maxfield-Matsumoto to dive into the long-awaited team-up movie between Arnold Schwarzenegger and his longtime cinematic rival, Sylvester Stallone: Escape Plan.
Ray Breslin is a security expert who breaks out of maximum security prisons for a living. His skills are put to the test when he’s hired to escape from the ultimate black site detention center for the worst criminals on Earth, and staffed a corrupt warden and his violent costumed guards. But Breslin isn’t alone. His escape is aided a fellow inmate, played by our favorite Austrian badass, who thinks that teaming up with Breslin may be his ticket to freedom.
When the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison.
Stock up on holy water and grow out your sadness beards, because this month we’re joining Kit DeForge to dissect Arnold’s turn-of-the-millennium supernatural thriller, End of Days.
Alcoholic and suicidal, ex-cop Jericho Cane is a broken man. But he’s the only thing standing between a young woman chosen to mother the Antichrist, and the forces of Hell themselves. And little does the Devil know that he’s fucking choirboy compared to Cane. A choirboy!
“Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.”
Crom, we have never prayed to you before. We have no tongue for it. Podcasts please you, Crom…so grant us one request: grant us a discussion with Greg Hatcher of the Atomic Junk Shop blog! Together we will travel back to an age undreamed of, and discuss the bloody fantasy epic that put Arnold Schwarzenegger on the map: 1982’s Conan the Barbarian!
An adaptation of the classic Robert E. Howard pulp hero, Conan of Cimmeria is a warrior, a thief and a slayer of men. After the slaughter of his parents and tribe by a doomsday snake cult, Conan is enslaved and made into a gladiator. Thus begins his quest for bloody vengeance with sword, and axe and his own bare hands.
“Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it is the chilling sound of your doom!”
We slide in our sculpted rubber bat-suits with Joe Preti of the View from the Gutters comic book podcast to sink our teeth into Arnold Schwarzenegger’s infamous comic book movie, Batman and Robin!
Gotham City’s be-nippled champions, Batman and Robin, take some time off from bickering with each other to battle a deadly duo of supervillains. In one corner, Poison Ivy, a hammy ecoterrorist with fatal kisses. And in the other corner, Mr. Freeze, a giant blue Austrian armed with a freeze ray and an even deadlier collection of ice puns.